MY emo blog

I know, in my head, that I could die tomorrow, and the world would continue to spin. My best friends could die, or my family, or all of Cananda, and as sad and lost and miserable as I might feel for a year, or 10, the world would keep spinning, and the Vibrio fischeri would continue to be a facilitative aerobe, etc. Hell, the earth could be hit by a giant meteor and the sun would still burn (at least for a few billion years longer) and E.T. wouldn't bat an eye.

BUT, even though I know these things and realize how insignificant even the big things like life and death are, it's amazing how much I still feel. I happened apon Crazy Love (I put it up at www.shoelessone.com if you care to listen) and I'll be damned if I haven't been listening to the song on repeat for the last 45 minutes, thinking about life, love, that sort of thing. I'll keep the bulk of those thoughts in the form of my thoughts I think... What I will "commit to blog" is that every year around this time my annual cycle of emotion and fantasy brings me to these idealistic images in my head of romantic walks on snowy nights under city lights with clumsy hands and happy couples and dimly lit bookstores and stupid grins and complete connection and concentration and attention. These nights don't have times or temperatures or past or future because there isn't room for such things, what with the all of the love flowing through the body in the form of oxytocin and vasopressin (google ;)). The person who you are with (their face, smile, mouth, lips, words, personality, brain, finger tips, hair, etc) is your world accented by the sights and smells and sounds around you, all of which are perfect because they are in the same world as the person you are with.

I've felt these things before, and I'll feel them again. These things come out of openness and honesty and stupidity. I say stupidity because these experiences and feelings are by no means a good route to self preservation or "success" in the conventional sense of the word. Completely loosing yourself in somebody (or something for that matter) is undeniably dangerous; If you can feel so strongly in a good way, you can feel so strongly in a bad way ten times longer just as easily, and love does hurt. If the next morning comes and the reality of an impossible relationship or an impossible distance sets in, congratulations, you've just tasted heaven and now you've gotta fight out of hell for the next week, month, etc. You've essentially fucked up your head and sentenced yourself to mild depression until you can move on. Still I feel lucky knowing that I can love or feel with that intensity because I think there are lots of people out there who can't, or just never will (because of personal baggage, genetic makeup, etc... hate to be a realist but love is a chemical thing and a big part of it comes down too the purines and pyrimidines).

What a pointless blog, u know? it's 6 AM, I really should go to bed.

In other news, it was a good week last week, lots of stress/tests/etc, but I did well (or at least OK) on all of them, which I felt good about. Friday night was a lot of fun, had a great time, and was able to take away memorable (if not exactly concrete ;)) experiences from the night. One of probably less important things being that I STILL OWE SARAH 10.167 cents (i remember this btw). If anybody sees her, tell her I have her money for her and have NOT NOT NOT forgotten.

Tonight (Saturday) I just got together with the apartment crew (and friends) and cooked some late night chili (ha, arond the 12 AM hour) and watched a great movie from way back in the day (black and white). I forget the title, but it was grand.

Tomorrow, it's back to the homework grind. I actually have a LOT to do tomorrow. Cyberia, here I come!

Thanks for visiting my internet home, and sorry for stupidity/emoness. It is 6 AM and I am very very tired.


OH, in other news, much to the dismay of the females in my life (and even the one who isn't) i decided to do the following for an impromptu Halloween costume (note: I AM 100% JOKING ABOUT THE ABOVE STATEMENT, HOPEFULLY MOST KNOW I AM NOT A CONCEITED DOUCHE BAG, OR IF I WAS I CERTAINLY WOULD BE SMART ENOUGH TO NOT LET IT BE KNOWN ;)

Wow

Wow, crazy week u know?

So far, I've managed to probably near fail my Algorithms exam, do a decent job on a 25 minute presentation (yesterday), and now I'm getting read to cram a bit for Micriobiology!

One regret: I didn't buy the microbiology book, and by the looks of it there is a fair amount of information on this next exam that isnt so readily available on wikipedia.

Not too much is new.

Looks like i'm gonna be staying in Houghton for the weekend, which isnt all bad. I could have probalby taken off to Madison, but I have a lot of work to do, and I need to spend a little time on my Calc/Genomics exam review stuff.

I'm really really tired, and am thinking I might go home, make some food, and take a nap before I set in for a long night of studying. I plan to be in bed by 2 or whatever time I stop being productive with studying.

Ok, sorry for the blog blog w/o anything interesting or fun or sweet or anything else... BUT, like I said, I'm tired :)

p.s. Still havent checked facebook since Sunday or whenver that was :)

quit facebook

i've semi quit facebook, in my "kevin quits the internet" campain.

I won't be quiting my blog though, as I do it for myself (and others) and I don't request (or get) any sort of feedback to check, etc.

I feel this is a good move on my part.

peace love and seashells,
kev

this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

So, this weekend was pretty fun I'd say.

A quick recap:

went to the "House of Muses" at 231 W. somethingorotherstreet, watched a few bands. Walked around Marquette for a while, 14 or so of us, with the intention of going to a party at Staci's friend's house, however an officer of the law (if you will) stopped by the house as we almost got there, and apparently broke up the party before we got there. So we kept walking around Marquette and ended up just driving home. I learned something though: Marquette is a pretty sweet town, sweeter than Houghton in ways. The people I saw/met were pretty kool also, IMO.
I plan to go back sometime just to hang out, meet people, do things that Marquette people do. I hear there is a "club" or something there, "The Matrix" (meh), and also a lot of interesting places to hang out at (coffee shops, a gaming place (lol nerd), that type of thing). Maybe in a few weekends I'll head back for a day or night. Also, I called a kid I met randomly ("Leo") and he called me back but I guess nothing too exciting was happening.

Last night was the Flogging Molley (sp?) concert, which was pretty sweet I'd say. I don't know.

I miss romance and all the things that go with it.

Ah...

A busy week this week! A few tests, a 25 minute presentation which I am currently working on. This weekend is the trip to Madison. I don't know if I'll be able to go, turns out Nick is gonna be gone, which means I might very well have to work all weekend. We'll see. I'm hoping not :(.

This is a terribly uninteresting, weak, and pathetic blog entry. I just don't have the energy to put much thought/feeling into it I guess.

I am thinking about quiting the internet. Basically at any given time, there is something I SHOULD be doing, but chances are pretty good that I'm not doing it and am instead doing something else, like reading genmay, or engadget.com, or gizmodo.com, or boingboing.com, or woot.com, or facebook.com... If I got rid of my computer, or at least the internet, then even if I wasnt doing homework, I'd be doing something to better myself. Playing the guitar, walking, working out, reading a book, etc. My social life (sadly) might take a dive for a while, as I have actually met a bunch of cool people through facebook, which would obviously stop. but maybe if I got out, etc, I'd meet even more people.

here is what I did for a little while last night:

























k, hope everybody is doing well. hand.

weak

ok, so this is a rather weak blog to be sending out into the blogosphere, but here it is anyway.

here is my room.

i took these photos for something else, but i figured that i should post them here now anyway.

things to note:

1. i have 6 plants now. SIX PLANTS. I got them all for 3 bucks. I like them, they add a lot of life and warmth IMO. Well at least a few of them. A few of them are not really noticable I guess.

2. My hair is pretty short. It's growing.

3. I also found some mushrooms outside (not pictured) that I have collected and am going to dry in my house. I guess it's not probably good to breath mushroom spores perhaps, so i'm gonna keep them in our livingroom until they are dried out, then i'm gonna hang them on my wall or something.

4. The hanging light that is orange and things is curently burnt out. I have to get a replacement bulb :(

That's about it. Any questions?

growing up. but not really

well, i got my hair cut. i said i'd have content at some point, this isn't really it. yet.

Anyway, i took my eyebrow piercing out. this might seem really insignificant to you. it probably should be insignificant to me. but, i guess it's not. i've had the piercing for 3 years or so, plus or minus. it's been infected, healthy, i've gotten it caught on things, i've gotten comments good and bad. all in all though, it felt like the right thing to have. i had to take the piercing out a year or so ago for a divng trip, but after a bit i realized it didn't feel liek the right time to be w/o it yet, so i got it pierced again. well, today, i woke up and i swear to you it just it me that it was time to get rid of it. not because i'm growing up or anything, but simply because the piercing had to go. maybe i'll get a jacob's ladder or somethign now (that was a joke).

I also got my hair cut. it's a bit short (per my request) but it was honestly one of the best haircuts i've ever had. thank you laurel. i don't know if she is accepting clients, but if she did i would highly recomend her :) - thanks again.

i'd post before and after photos, but then i might feel like a tool. it's short, i look a bit older, and a bit "tuffer". if that's a word. if it's not a word, replace it with the word that you know i mean.

also, rob, would you look at my resume for me sometime tomorow? And does epic want to hire me for an internship? ;) OH AND ROB! CAN I STAY WITH YOU OVER HALLOWEEN?

p.s. if anybody else is reading this and has the ability/skill/etc to take a look at my resume before the job fair tuesday, that would be really sweet. I know it's not perfect, i need suggustions from people, etc. Nick helped me (read: a lot) putting what you see together. In general, I suck at such things I suppose. Help would be much appreciated, I could use an internship.

http://home.comcast.net/~kevyhasshoes/kevs_resume.doc

http://home.comcast.net/~kevyhasshoes/kevs_resume.pdf